Friday, November 21, 2014

Naritive script rewright



Twilight zone opening (done by Justen)
At Justen house
Friend and main are sitting on the couch
Main: Id sell my soul if it would fix all theses problems.
Friend: Whoa man watch what you say there you never know who may be lesioning.
Main: Your right, hey want some pizza.
Friend: Na i got to go you have a good day.
Main: Where you going.
Main: WHAT THE WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?
Demon: Did someone say they'd sell there soul?
Main: (starts laughing) Your a demon is this some kind of joke?
Demon: What you were expecting red skin and horns?
Main: um ahh...
Demon: You raciest mother... calm down, calm down (breaths deeply in then out) why do you humans always think that ill never understand your kind. now what was your wish?
Main: I don't know what your talking about i didn't make any wish (looks in one direction then the other)
Demon: They always lie. I believe it was something about fixing all problems. And don't lie to me again.
Main: (gulps then says scared) yea i wished all the problems like war, crime, hunger were all solved.
Demon: And for this it will cost your soul. If we have a deal take my hand.
Main: (slowly takes his hand and shakes it)
Demon: (smiles and despairs)
Main: That's it nothing happened. (turns around and is suddenly at school) Wait how did I get here? ill ask someone if anything happened. (starts to look around) where is everyone? maybe there in class ill look around some more. (after looking around a while  starts to look scared and starts to run slowly going faster looking from room to room eventually runs outside) WHERE IS EVERYONE!? DEMON WHAT DID YOU DO!?
Demon: (Reappears) Quit yelling. Its just a  holiday. Everyone's been dealt with.
Main: o ok that's a load off... Wait what do you mean dealt with? And since when is today a holiday?
Demon: (starts laughing) Since today's the day the world ended. Congratulations your the last man on earth.
Main: Why did you do that, I didn't wish for this.
Demon: you said to solve all the worlds problems. Well now there solved. Now about that soul (smiles)
Main: O no you don't (runs)
Demon: They always run when its time to pay. (snaps fingers)
Main: (Trips and falls and we see that there shoe lases are tied. Then tires to quickly untie them)
Demon: (walks towards them slowly. Arrives just as they fins hand stand up)
Main: (throws a punch)
Demon: (doges grabs arm) I Think your going to make a great demon.
Main: (suddenly wakes up in his house screaming. Door bell rings)
Delivery person: Pizza delivery.
Main: Be right there. (grabs wallet and goes to the door)
Delivery person: That will be one soul please.
Main: (screams and starts to run towards the camera)
Delivery person: o come on the price isnt that bad why do they always run when its time to pay (smiles) 
Fades to black
Twilight zone ending (done by Justen)


2 comments:

  1. Good. This has a lot more clarity to it. In the beginning you need a little more set up before you jump into such an important line about selling your soul. You either need to talk about it, be looking at a newspaper or watching the news. You can't rush into it to fast or your audience may miss it. Also is the delivery guy at the end the same actor as the demon?

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  2. Also - spelling is very important. Please take the time to check it and get it right.

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